Captain Turanga Leela

As we enter the Planet Express Delivery Company this morning, we find our three hardworking personnel diligently watching TV in the break room.


"Good news, everyone!"

"Professor?" Leela exclaims. "Where have you been?"

"Yeah, we thought you were dead! By the way, I didn't take anything out of your office," Bender adds.

"No, no. I've been here."

"...No you haven't!" Fry points out.

"I haven't?! Ooh." Professor Farnsworth looks momentarily befuddled. "Anyway, I have a delivery for you three to make, to Omicron Persei 8!"

"Yeah? Well I have a marathon of All My Circuits to watch!" Bender protests, feet on the coffee table and arms crossed.

"It's a shipment of tiny frankfurters, for their annual Oktoberfest celebration!" the Professor soldiers on.

"Oktoberfest? In the middle of December?" questions Leela.

"Why, yes."

That seems like all the explanation the Professor deems necessary.

"Hold up!" Bender says, feet going to the floor. "Oktoberfest? Is there going to be beer at this shindig?"

"Oh my, yes," the Professor confirms.

"I'm in."

Leela was not having a particularly good day. This had a lot to do with the Planet Express delivery ship currently not being in working order. Fry had decided to take his new piloting skills (along with Bender and a six-pack of Slurm, which could give one worse symptoms of inebriation than alcohol) and go out for a joy ride. They came back three hours later, by way of a tow-ship. Leela growled as she tinkered around inside the ship's bulbous belly. She wasn't a mechanic, she was a pilot. The only pilot for Planet Express. She could have killed Fry, but then again that wasn't anything new.

Hermes had come out of his office a while earlier, ranting over some accounting mumbo jumbo that Leela would have had to take college courses to understand, and had called Leela irresponsible for the ship being in its current state of disrepair. Me?? Irresponsible??! If there was one thing Leela prided herself on, it was her responsibleness! And her organizational skills. And her tiny waist. Amy walked by and said hello, looking particularly cute today, her ever loyal and devoted boyfriend in tow. Leela growled again, jealousy sparking in her eye. Well, maybe I could stand to lose a few inches off my waist...

On top of her problems at work, her love life as of late was pitiful. She took a few moments to lament her sad state as she banged on something with a wrench. When was the last time I...? She thought of the opera Fry had written for her, and realized that was the last time she could remember feeling wooed by a man. That was many months ago. She glanced over her shoulder to spy Fry and Bender poking Dr. Zoidberg in the gullet with sticks while he slept and then laughing like naughty schoolboys. The charm of Fry's opera had worn off. Leela knew Fry was head-over-heels for her, as he has been almost since the very day they met, and hasn't been shy about telling her frequently and in generally annoying (but sometimes endearing) ways. He was too irresponsible and immature for Leela's tastes, though. She was attracted to success, and Fry constantly reeked of failure. And some other indeterminable odors.

Something popped out of the delivery ship's kidneys, spewing an unidentifiable liquid all over Leela's face. She growled in annoyance, chucking her wrench at the toolbox. Why was she the one stuck doing all the work on her own, anyway?

"Bender, could you give me a hand with the ship?" Leela called, not trying to hide the annoyance in her voice. Bender better understood the way the ship worked than anybody else in the company, even the Professor, who had long since grown senile with age.

"Bite my shiny metal ass, I'm busy!" Bender shouted back over his shoulder, eyebulbs narrowing, pointing one stubby finger at his butt-plate. He didn't wait for a response before turning back to his mischievousness with Fry. He giggled as Dr. Zoidberg's head fin suddenly popped up in annoyance, a trill of anger escaping his... er... "lips"... though the crustacean himself slept on.

Leela gritted her teeth and growled deep in her throat, picking up the first tool her fingers touched and hammering harder on the green underbelly of the ship. Its plating dented slightly with each blow.

I need a drink....

_____________________

Night in New New York was almost indistinguishable from day, what with all the billboards and advertisements around the city. The way Leela kept her bearings was this: At nighttime there were far less chumps around to piss her off. It was nighttime.

She unlocked the door to apartment 1I and immediately started shedding clothes, not even waiting for the door to fully close behind her. Nibbler ran up grunting and chittering at her, obviously pleased to see her (and more importantly he was obviously looking to be fed), but she brushed by him on the way to her bedroom. Once she was dressed comfortably she could concentrate on other things.

She emerged from her bedroom in a nightshirt and bare feet, plodding tiredly towards the kitchen. Once she had a stiff drink in her hand she could better concentrate on the other creature in the room.

"Aww, did mommy forget something?" she cooed, causing the dejected looking creature to perk up and circle his food dish happily. She offered him a generous helping of Kibbles 'N Snouts, scratching his ears briefly before leaving the room and letting him make quick work of the meal. The fuzzy black little alienoid pet was the only creature left on Earth that didn't annoy her at this moment.

She flipped on the stereo and plopped heavily onto the couch, letting out a deep sigh. Tomorrow she could most likely look forward to a repeat of today. The little Nibblonian skittered up onto her belly, wanting attention, and she obliged him.

For the rest of the night the only things she wanted to concentrate on were the drink in her hand and the furry, loving pet on her belly. Some time later she eventually fell asleep.